The new “Conan the Barbarian” movie wasn’t too terribly bad, though there were a few issues that are fairly noteworthy.
While the action scenes were actually quite good, when it got bloody, it looked like somebody literally dropped a water balloon full of red paint, even when a sword hit armor.
In the latest installment, Conan is extremely crude, as is expected with the stereotypical barbarian.
He is a womanizer, drinks large amounts of alcohol and is extremely violent. Jason Momoa played the part quite well in that regard.
One of the funnier parts of the movie is when he is trying to get all “alpha male,” and protective over the lead actress (Rachel Nichols) but ends up binding and gagging her.
I found his method of taking care of his enemies to be rather creative as well.
The first one involves feeding the warden of the prison the key to the shackles and giving one of the prisoners a knife.
Another involves having his ward swing the enemy’s sword that she could hardly pick up much less use, and ramming him into it.
But then again, that seemed more like an accident than anything else.
The third involves a catapult, a very large rock, and stuffing a message inside the enemy’s mouth. Message received, eh?
In general, the movie goes something like this: Sad, awesome, sad, awesome. Wash, cut, add large amounts of alcohol and blood, then there you have it. Something resembling a Schwarzenegger movie, but just a little updated.
An entertaining movie, but I wouldn’t go for the outstanding visual effects.
Fair warning for anyone who wants to see the R-rated movie: prepare for nudity and a little of what I call soft-core pornography.
Had it been shown back when the first two “Conan” movies came out, it would have been rated X.
To contact Robert Bolton, email firstname.lastname@example.org.