My first pet was a fish named Blue.

Blue was a beta fish, meaning all he did was lie dormant at one end of the tank and refuse to interact with anyone or anything despite boasting a pineapple hut and several scuba diver figurines in his furnished living space.

Blue’s anti-social demeanor eventually progressed to an eating disorder, as he began rejecting food pellets just as soon as he began rejecting my affection. When I attempted to alleviate Blue’s stress by purchasing him a pretty neighbor named Sue — a pink beta with maroon fins — he thwarted my paternal advances and turned Sue against me.

Despite my love for the two fish, they never returned the favor. It did wonders for my pre-teen self-esteem.

Unable to force feed Blue — and unable to compensate for Sue’s gender identity crisis (turns out she was male) — I flushed the two fish down the toilet and vowed to never nurture another sea creature again.

Now, 10 years later, the developers at TouchFactor Inc. have created the perfect alternative to unaffectionate fish — Touch Fish, the most fun virtual fish game to hit the App Store since, well, ever.

Touch Fish is essentially a virtual fish tank attached to your iPhone.

After selecting your Fish Buddy, you use the iPhone’s touch screen to perform a variety of tasks to make your fish happy.

Using the front-facing camera, you can get close and personal with your fish as it reacts to your own positive and negative facial expressions.

Touch Fish also enables users to purchase accessories for the tanks and visit the tanks of their friends while using the current users location.

Overall, Touch Fish is the best kind of pet fish to have as it’s free, easy to keep up with and will never die.

Touch Fish can be found on the iTunes app store.

Rating: B