I hate it when someone has died yet people say, “if so and so was here he or she would….” A beloved family member died awhile back and I find myself constantly having to contain my ire as the rest of my family and those who knew her throw around what they believe she would have done, said, etc. It makes me angry that anyone would dare to say he or she knew her well enough to be the authority on how she would have processed any event.

Sharing a past thought or word of wisdom someone shared is ok. Many people do this and it is a comfort. But to say how that person would react in a completely new situation is crazy. That deceased person is not a character in a film or novel. No one else can determine that person’s opinions and thoughts for them. No matter how much you loved or miss the person, the fact is, the person is dead and bears no weight in current circumstances. I find it disrespectful.

A deceased person’s opinion does not hold value to me when I am here, alive and trying to move forward. Those who are alive and relevant to the issue, is who I will be consulting. So, in short, no one should try to resurrect the dead to solidify a point.