When it comes to purchasing your first sock monkey, you will want to make sure you are getting a quality product for your pay. Like children, sock monkeys require lots of love and attention.

The sock monkey craze is almost as colossal as the mustache madness that has taken over the pop culture of America. Understandably so, as sock monkeys are the reinvention of vintage style mixed with the innocence of plush animals.

Sometime in mid-March I bought my first sock monkey from Walmart in front of one of the Easter displays. After I spotted them, I couldn’t help but reach into the depths of my pockets and spill out the $7 or so it cost for the sock monkey.

Because it was around Easter, the sock monkey was set out with other seasonal items, and much to my delightful surprise I noticed a pair of bunny ears on it — another huge bonus since I am also into bunnies.

The sock monkey exhibited a traditional look, but also had the perks of sporting a lovely pink and brown striped shirt, along with an impressive shade of fuchsia colored lips. At nine inches long, this new purchase was perfect in every sense of the term.

As with most dedicated stuffed animal owners it was only proper to give such a remarkable sock monkey a name: Carl Morgan.

Though tangibly the sock monkey was lacking in quality, the inner spirit of Carl made up for whatever DanDee Collector’s Choice had missed when they manufactured him.

It was almost expected, considering the purchase was made from Walmart, and thus it was most likely manufactured in a less-than-minimal factory in some third-world country.

When Carl was around 1 week old, a small area on his left arm started to unravel and tear. This can’t be mistaken for normal wear and tear, because I guarded him and protected him with my dear life.

This flaw was greatly disappointing, especially since he had been in my possession for such a short time.

Though Carl sports a phenomenally attractive and stylish shirt, it is sewn on. For those of you who may want to change the attire on your sock monkey, this is unfortunately not an option.

For any flaw that was made in his design, Carl makes up for it with personality.

Carl became an immediate social attraction. I took him to work with me; he went to the skating rink; he dazzled his charm with the waitresses at a local Coach’s restaurant. Wherever Carl went and wherever Carl goes, people beg for a picture with the classy gent.

If you are able to open your eyes to the endearing spirit of this inanimate sock monkey, your heart will be filled with the best kind of imaginary love.

But if you are looking for a sock monkey that will serve as a quality made stuffed animal, you are better off just playing make believe with a pillow sham.

Carl Morgan Rating: A

DanDee Collector’s Choice: F

—Casey R. Akard

Videographer

To contact Casey R. Akard, email pioneergraphics@occc.edu.