The second GOP debate was 14 chickens viciously clucking at a duck viciously quacking.

As the dust cleared, it was determined Carly Fiorina was the winner by virtue of not being Donald Trump and not being an old white male.

Dr. Ben Carson sadly disqualified himself by disenfranchising all voters who believe not all Muslims are terrorists.

I think it is questionable to declare a winner in a situation where everyone loses — especially in a debate where all parties involved are laser beaming Trump, trying to penetrate his carbon nanotube hairpiece.

The moderators didn’t seem to moderate, adopting a laissez-faire approach.

With The Donald still leading in the polls, America better grease up.

The trick to enjoying these GOP debates is to not expect a debate but to expect the political equivalent of a monster truck rally.

Leave the brain on the charger and open a Coors.