We continuously give ourselves to other people.
We become empty trying to fill others with love that we end up having none left over for ourselves, but self-love is just as important as loving others. We are deserving of care and concern just like everyone else.
These last few months I’ve realized I never make myself a priority.
I believe everyone is so busy worrying about other people and other things that at the end of the day they forget to do something or anything at all for themselves.
Self-love, self-acceptance, and self-compassion are extremely important and are necessities for a healthy, happy life.
“Self-compassion involves showing kindness to oneself when experiencing suffering, framing one’s experience of imperfection in light of the shared human experience, and mindful awareness of negative thoughts and emotions,” said the co-founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion, Kristin Neff.
To some, self-love is perceived as a sense of selfishness or as a moral flaw, but self-love is defined by having regard to one’s own well-being and happiness.
Self-love enables individuals to view things, people, and life from another perspective, and can help someone become a better person by improving their physical, psychological, and emotional state.
Many people believe being hard on oneself and being self-critical is a good thing. Scientific data, however, shows self-criticism actually makes us weaker, and there is a greater alternative: self-compassion.
The Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education concluded there are scientific benefits of self-compassion.
The center’s results determined self-compassion is a healthy alternative that reaps results and is the source of empowerment, learning, and inner strength. It builds greater resilience and involves mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness.
Self-compassion also leads to productivity. It will help maintain peace of mind, will likely improve one’s performance after failure, and is a motivation to not indicate failure as defeat but as a learning opportunity.
Another benefit of self-compassion is a decrease in stress levels. Harsh self-criticism activates our sympathetic nervous system, it can be so intense it stops us from learning and being resilient. In comparison, self-compassion may activate our biological nurturance and soothing system which creates greater feelings of well-being.
The absence or lack of self-compassion and self-love can lead to issues with one’s self-esteem which can add additional difficulties in one’s life.
Many individuals who lack self-love have a low self-esteem. Having low self-esteem makes someone put little value on their opinions and ideas due to the constant worry of not being good enough.
Research has shown key differences between individuals with high and low self-esteem.
Simplypsychology.org states, “People with high self-esteem focus on growth and improvement, whereas people with low self-esteem focus on not making mistakes in life.”
Psychiatrist Dr. Kevin Solomons is the author of the book ‘Born to be Worthless: The Hidden Power of Low Self-Esteem.’ Solomons said a person’s self-esteem system mostly moves us to make healthy, constructive and adaptive life decisions, but can go wrong.
Solomons said when our self-esteem does go wrong, our low self-esteem can get us to make self-destructive decisions such as tolerating mistreatment or harming ourselves in an effort to numb the pain of our own worthlessness or to make others love us.
Some people go to such great lengths to receive approval and love from others that it takes time away from themselves, and they begin to lose sight of their own self-worth.
Everyone on earth has one life to live, why should we live it miserably by criticizing and hating ourselves?
All the love and time we give to others and take from ourselves is a recipe for having a physically and emotionally unhealthy life. I am not saying don’t spread love, compassion, or kindness just don’t forget to save some to yourself.
I know it is not so easy but we all need to remember to make ourselves a priority. We should stop denying ourselves compassion, love, acceptance, and simply fill ourselves with them instead.