New ‘Transformers’ leaves questions unanswered

To call the third “Transformers” a predictable movie is kind of like calling Tiger Woods a bit of a ladies’ man: although true, it vastly understates the situation.

If your desire is to see a semi-action-packed movie filled with moderately humorous punch lines and a beautiful girl running through various battle zones then, by all means, “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” is your destination.


Upon leaving “Transformers,” I was left pondering many unanswered questions such as, why is Carly, the leading lady, wearing white in literally every scene? Also, who does her dry cleaning? Fascinatingly enough, not one spot appears on her white jeans in the midst of a battle.

Where are the slightly racist but lovable “thug bots” from the second movie? How is Bumblebee’s speaking problem still not fixed as they have the entire government at their disposal? Is it possible for robots to age? (See elderly robot with cane.) And last, why do some robots have accents? Is there an Ireland on Cybertron?

If they spent a quarter of the the amount of money on good writers as they did on special effects, it wouldn’t be so painful to watch.

Even in a movie where shape-shifting machinery with human-like characteristics is accepted as reality, the plot holes were frustratingly vast. The blatant neglect of the audience’s intelligence is insulting.

Even in a sci-fi movie, it’s unrealistic that military intelligence is so stupid as to not see the trap laid by the Decepticons. Overlooking the usual cliché of “the hero telling the dopey government that never listens then regrets it later when everything is falling apart” bit that comes back like a bad case of deja vu.

The main focus of “Dark of the Moon” is the Decepticons and Sentinel Prime want to revive their planet by planning to bring it here via a spacebridge on the moon. One is left wondering what are they planning to do when their entire planet arrives? Crush earth? Or just be neighbors?

On a side note, the flagrant racism is annoying as well. Anyone else notice the evil Megatron as he rises out of hiding from the desserts of the Middle East with something akin to a turban atop his robot head? Of course he is pitted against the god-like Optimus Prime who is a tractor-trailer with red, white and blue flames up and down the side. Need I say more?

Unfortunately, they need not put too much thought into minor details like changing up the plot line a bit, the minute necessity for dialogue or even acting — good acting that is.

Those things don’t really matter when the demographic is either high school-age kids who are fascinated by shiny things and explosions, or diehard comic book fans who are stoked their beloved childhood fantasy is playing out on the big screen. The latter is understandable at least.

“Transformers” is to movies as Lady Gaga is to music — flashy and different on the outside yet lacking in depth, actual originality and curiously off putting when it’s over.

Rating: D-

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