Has-beens give “Expendables” life

September 4, 2012 Review Print Print

“Chuck Norris and Mr. T once walked into a bar together. The building instantly exploded because that much raw awesomeness cannot be contained in one building.”

While The “Expendables 2” lacks Mr. T, it has more than enough Chuck Norris to keep everybody sated and pinned to their seats.

I went to see “The Expendables 2” recently and found it to be one of the biggest, manliest movies I’ve ever seen, as well as having more explosions than a Michael Bay film.

The plot is basic: Pure action. It has revenge and detective work, explosions and shooting with a side of street fighting. The fun part is that it has all of the action stars you grew up with and some of the new ones who have recently come out.

My mother put it in a very good way. She claimed that it had “Every has-been that ever was.” This works extremely well in my opinion.

Overall, it’s a very good movie and worth the money I spent to see it though it may not to be to everybody’s taste.

The violence is extremely graphic, showing a few very vivid pictures of mutilation but only in brief flashes.

Overall, the movie felt like “Mortal Kombat,” with all the death and destruction. One of the things that completes the movie is the use of a Chuck Norris joke said by — you guessed it — Chuck Norris. It was beautiful.

“I was bitten by a king cobra. After five agonizing days, the cobra died,” Chuck dictated and then people died. The end.

If you love your boyfriends, you will go see this with them.

Rating: A+ (out of fear that Chuck will eat me. Also, it’s a very fun movie.)

Robert Bolton

Online Writer

To contact Robert Bolton, email onlinewriter@occc.edu.

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