Silkience inexpensive, effective

June 27, 2014 Review Print Print

When people see my plump, bouncy and playful yet professional, hair style, the first thing they always ask is, “What do you use in it?

How can I too own hair that would make a dictator weep golden tears?” I vowed I would never tell my secret.

I got so tired of hearing these questions that I started wearing a hat every day. My fans were understandably upset when I started doing this, but I cannot be expected to walk to work in the morning with the riffraff peasantry touching me.

One day, as I casually walked toward my car in the lot, a haggard unattended 6-year-old girl started to follow me. She kept shouting something about “Where is my Romney, I want my Romney,” so I promptly called the police.

As they slapped the cuffs on the child, I noticed her pigtails. They were thick, voluminous and overdecorated with pink bows. I wondered how expensive it must be to maintain that look.

I imagined her poor mother having to spend probably hundreds of dollars a year on her little blonde mistake. I had an epiphany that I had no choice but to share my hair care secret for the good of the world.

I use Silkience shampoo and nothing else. It costs $1 for a bottle.

Silkience, to my knowledge, means silk science. It also may mean the state of being silky. Either way, the made-up word is cleverly accurate.

I have a very greasy head so I have no need for conditioner. When it comes to shampoo for me, the key word is dry. I need a shampoo that degreases my head and dries it like a potato peel in the sun.

Silkience does the trick.

It is a bit difficult to get used to, though. It is extremely runny, almost like pure bubble soap. It very well may be bubble soap, but if you have a head that could make a skillet safe for pancakes, Silkience can drop your shampoo bill by a million percent.

Rating: A

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