I’m not entirely tech savvy. If civilization had stopped progressing with the advent of beef jerky, that would have been OK for me. Instead, technology marches on.

Now, I’ve got this phone that takes pictures, plays music and allows me to lash out with great vitriol about the secret agendas of reptilian shapeshifters in every comments section the Internet has to offer.

I found an app for my phone last week that allows me to combine these three features into the great works of art I’m obviously meant to create. It’s called Kanvas and it’s free. That’s all I needed to know to try it out.

In one sense, Kanvas is a photo sharing app, revolving in its own very Instagram-like social media nexus. It’s a bizarre little world unto itself and it’s easy to become lost in the creations of the other random users.

Sweet, welcoming comments sections beckon to me beneath every user’s posts and I get the option to “like” or “favorite” everyone’s work by pressing my finger to a little heart icon, which I for some reason enjoy very much. Every stranger has become my favorite stranger.

Kanvas allows users a little more manipulation of their pictures and video than Instagram.

Pictures can be layered with doodles and text in a myriad of fonts or clever sayings provided by the app or stickers depicting every human emotion from smiley face to winky, smiley face. Then, all of this can be set to music.

It seems like most people are using this to convey their own inspirational sayings over sunset pictures while dubstep plays.

Not me.

I realize now that it’s my destiny to grace the Internet with photos of my every separate facial expression — thousands of them, one after another, with little, dancing hearts that say, “Carpe Diem” (and other sayings) moving around the frame to the soothing sounds of Chuck Berry’s “My Ding A Ling.”

Hey Internet, you’re welcome.

From what I can tell, Kanvas is the digital equivalent of compulsively making scrapbooks and forcing strangers to look at them — and I love it.