It’s a warm summer evening, bottles are being emptied all about and there are countless cab services and pre-designated sober folks to pilot the not-so-sober folks home.
It’s a memorable night out in Norman, arguably the coolest place to live in Oklahoma.
Somehow, you’ve ended up at a dive bar, watching a gang of local musicians wail exhaustive double-entendres into a microphone while causing the building to shake with indecipherable, blaring computer music.
The place is crowded, but this is exciting. For an Oklahoma town, these people are fun to watch, as they drag puffs from their vapor devices and swing glowing hula hoops around their waists like acrobats in the circus while the lights flash neon motley combinations.
Your friends are shouting for you to come along now — we’re leaving — and soon, you find yourself immersed in a different mesh of bodies, a different beat now resounding in your eardrums, and the sight of a pretty blond catching your eye — a blond with a pair of azure blue eyes staring right back.
It’s a quick exchange, but somehow, you’ve both ended up near one another and your buddies are cheering you on from afar.
You’re excited and for a minute, you feel like a champion, but before you can solidify your victory and accept your laurels, you are whisked away on another journey away from the mesmerizing stranger.
As the lights around you shift, you find yourself stumbling into an abandoned alleyway.
It’s completely vacant, save a tall, metal post flashing an angelic phrase that nearly every man is apt to crave after his first taste — “Sugers.”
After the man at the door ensures you’re of age, you enter a smokey, dark-lit area with chairs and tables littered all about.
You are immediately greeted with unwarranted attention from a woman who resembles your old Aunt Marlboro — oops, Aunt Marla — who keeps refilling your drink cup even though you’ve only had two sips.
Now you’re worried Aunt Marla will tell mom where you are, but your worries are assuaged when you see a familiar pair of pretty eyes flashing blue in the spotlight.
The blond has somehow made it onstage, moving all about and winking those blue eyes at you.
You can’t help but be drawn closer, until you are face-to-face, reliving those golden moments you were having before. It’s just the two of you now and things couldn’t be better. She leans in, and you lean in, but before your lips can touch, she whispers, ever-so-softly to you: “That’ll be 10 bucks, big guy.”
You’re not sure why the blond has demanded money from you, or why she is now paying attention to the five gentlemen at the table next to you, but no matter — you’re in love.
As you ride home in the back of a cab, your buddies are applauding your first taste of “Sugers,” Norman’s most well-known strip club.
And you can’t help but agree with them: it was cheap, it was thrilling and it was the next best thing to what you couldn’t have.
Sugers is located at 750 Asp Ave. on Campus Corner.