With my car in the shop, I’ve had to sleep over at my dad’s house for a full week. During that time, I’ve had the pleasure of sleeping on an air mattress. An Intex Supreme Air-Flow Queen Air Bed, specifically.
I did not feel like a queen sleeping on that bed. I felt like a Smurf sleeping on a big unopened bag of potato chips. Every crinkle of every wrinkle was somehow amplified as I tossed and turned in the little guest room.
When I sleep in a real bed with springs, I like to test the waters. I’ll roll over 50 or 60 times until I reach the absolute pinnacle of possible comfort.
If I lie on my side, I don’t know what to do with my arm, so I roll onto my back. When I lie on my back, everything feels good except for my back.
I finally have to lie on my side, in the fetal position, with an arm under the pillow. My other arm has to fend for itself as it flops around in the cold night.
Because the bed was so loud, I was afraid to move. If I had so much as a hard sneeze, the crunch noise from the bed would jolt me out of any relaxation progress I’d made in the last half hour. I had to live with the first position I had lain down in.
And that is how I managed to wake up this morning with a crick in my head.
However, I may not be totally fair in judging the mattress. It was awful, but was it because it was a bad mattress? Or was it bad because it was a great air mattress?
The freakish part is, if it weren’t for the noise, I’d have slept like a first-time drunk. The bed felt great.
I’ve had real mattresses that were worse. It wasn’t memory foam, but it was very decent.
Obviously, if you’re stuck with an air mattress, you don’t have many choices in life. But you do have a choice here. Sleep on the floor. At least it’s quiet.