By no means am I a frequent flyer. Hell, I have a hard time maintaining composure while riding the carnival ferris wheel, so being 50,000+ feet above ground in a stuffy aircraft sandwiched be-tween two strangers is not my idea of a good time.

That said, I generally opt for some melatonin and a sleeping mask while enduring air travel.

Unfortunately, I was wide awake during my last experience flying with American Airlines.

My first flight delay from San Francisco International to LAX should’ve been an indication of how the rest of my trip might go, but I did my best to remain optimistic.

After it took the plane an extra half hour to arrive to our loading gate and required another 15 minutes of maintenance after the passengers boarded, I began to submit my final request to God: “Please let there be liquor on this flight.”

While I survived my trip to Los Angeles, the delay in San Francisco pushed our arrival time back, permitting me no time for useless souvenir shopping or an overpriced dinner entree at a fancy airport restaurant .

Once we landed, I quickly gathered my bags and rushed to my next gate to board my connecting flight to Dallas.

Thankfully, American Airlines was late once more, which gave me time to purchase a banana and a $15 sandwich to satisfy my growing hunger.

But upon boarding my flight to Texas from California, I was displeased to find my flight didn’t offer free WiFi as the previous flight did.

It didn’t make much sense since my first flight was only an hour and my second flight was three.

Leave it to Texas to ruin something for you while you’re 50,000 feet in the air.

The best part about my experience with American Airlines occurred when we landed in Dallas. After two delayed flights, we landed at 1 a.m., an hour after our original arrival time.

As if that wasn’t enough, we waited nearly 45 minutes at baggage claim. Since I’m not used to traveling, I saw it as an inconvenience — but people in first class went nuts because they waited so long.

One lady who somehow smuggled two Yorkshire Terriers on board almost fought another woman because their luggage was being held hostage.

To avoid rabid Yorkshire terriers and an overall terrible flight experience, I’d suggest you fly with anyone but American Airlines.

I’m just glad I made it home in one piece.

Rating: D