Chrome flusher handles it all

November 6, 2014 Review Print Print
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A strong home is like a strong chain. If one link breaks, you forfeit the boat you’re towing to
Davy Jones’s locker. We may not appreciate the little things in our home, but when one stops
working, we learn its true value.

In other words, my toilet flusher broke.

When someone flushes a toilet, the handle moves an arm which pulls a chain, which yanks
a rubber plug out of a hole. The water then goes down the hole. It’s pretty high tech.

My toilet’s arm somehow snapped in half one day. It may be related to my need to karate
chop the flusher after a successful bowel movement.

Regardless, when a flusher breaks, you have to physically reach into the toilet’s disgusting watery tank and pull the chain.

The water in the tank is not clean. I don’t care what my mom says. No priest in any confessional could possibly understand the shame I felt every time I reached into that water.

I needed a new handle before I had to start paying for therapy.

When I found the hardware aisle at Walmart, I had two sudden realizations. First, there is a huge variety of fancy toilet flushers. Secondly, there are people who will pay $20 for the handle on their toilet.

There were only two cheap options. Both were plastic. One was white and the other was chrome. Being the naughty desperado I am, I had to get the chrome one. It made my toilet look like the toilet a motorcyclist might use.

The Fluidmaster Inc. chrome metal arm tank lever changed my life. I’m not afraid to use my toilet anymore and because it’s made of a hardy plastic, I’m not afraid to karate chop my cares away. That’s not bad for $5.

Earlier this week, the flusher had its first true test. I’m proud to say that my new chrome buddy made it through Chinese food night and survived unscathed.

I must spread the word over hill and dale: Fluidmaster flushers can thwart any foes, be they Chinese, Indian or even Mexican.

Rating: A

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