My 4-year-old told me the other day, “When I grow up I am going to go to school with you mama.”
That one sentence has made all of the time I am sacrificing away from my children for school worth it.
He now carries around a crayon and a notebook that he calls his homework.
I feel that all of the hours and countless calls for a babysitter have been worth it — if only because even at this young age, he has begun to value education.
Sometimes he will come sit in our office and watch me doing my work on the computer. Other times he cries that he doesn’t want me to go to school or do my homework. He wants me and all of my attention.
Those are the moments that kill me.
But I know I am instilling in him values that will be essential to his future: hard work and dedication.
I can already see his excitement for learning and it brings me such joy. I can peer into the future and see those report cards and finally, that cap and gown. That keeps me going on those days when I feel horrible for leaving my children, for not being there to tuck them in, read a story and pray before bed — those moments when my whole self cries to be with them.
I can overcome those moments by reminding myself not only am I making a better future for them, I also am inspiring them to follow in my footsteps and achieve a higher education.
I will admit sometimes I have thought of putting my associate degree off for a little while — come back once the boys are older.
Everyone says you never get those moments back and they grow so fast. What am I doing wasting them here? Then I remember the confidence I have gained. A confidence my children will benefit from.
Three more semesters I will have to juggle around my responsibilities; wife, mother and student, to earn my associate degree — one more step toward my families future.
Is it hard? Definitely.
Do I want to quit sometimes? Yes.
But, in the end, is it worth it? In so many ways, yes.
Once again I peer into the future and see my husband, children and I in a better place due to my education, my time and efforts.